Music always finds me. In some forgotten corner of my mind, a few notes would rise like smoke from the embers and get me into this different state of mind that I cannot describe.

Today (infact since a couple of days), I have been hooked onto Gulzaar's work. It was his birthday and the radio played his work all day. Right from Iss modd se to Kajra re. That man can weave poetry for any situation. Oh what a wide canvas he has painted. 

As a child I used to always wish that I turn into a creative person. Any sort of creativity. A writer, a poet, something, anything. I wrote poetry as a teenager. Pouring my heart's thoughts into words. 

But when I listen to songs like "woh khat ke purze" (a ghazal sung by Jagjit Sing penned by Gulzar), I realise that no matter what words I come up with they will always fall short of the beauty of "Zulf ke neeche gardan pe, subah-o-shaam milti rahein" or a ""Kal jo mile to maathe pe mere sooraj uga dena". You get the drift don't you? 

After all the Gulzaar songs, I landed on this little gem from the movie Barfi "Phir le aaya dil". The lyrics are by Sayeed Quadri and the rendition by Arijit Singh. It just touches you in ways you cannot describe. 

The first few lines really describe my initial stormy courtship with T.

"Phir le aaya dil majboor, kya keeje, Raas na aaya rehna door, kya keeje, Dil keh raha usse maqammal kar bhi aao, Woh jo adhoori si baat baaki hai, woh jo adhoori si baat baaki hai"

Although I kept trying to walk away but the heart has different plans. It kept pushing me to him, into his arms. And years later, today, we complete each other. Gulzaar again of course.

"Tere bina chaand ka sona khota re, peeli peeli dhool uda de jhootha re,
Tere bina sona peetal, tere sang keekar peepal". Need I say more??

Rediscovering music!

There is new TVC for a music website which has Hrithik Roshan give the voice over and what he says about music really had me. He says that music is a wonderful thing and goes on to extol about the virtues of music in our lives for about 2 minutes. 

And there was not one thing that was wrong in what he said. 

The TVC itself is subtle (if you see the TVC of the rival, Gaana.com, you will know what I mean). You don't see Hrithik - you just hear his voice. That is, for me, the most powerful statement that the TVC has made. The power of sound where you are so enthralled by what Hrithik says and you just let your eyes glance at the visuals of everyday scenes of people enjoying music. 

Now why am I going on and on about this TVC you may wonder. Music is a big part of my life too. No I am not a musician and can hardly sing. My guitar packed away along with the old suitcases and boxes is testimonial to that. I could tell you one thing though. I have always had music around me during the highs and lows of life. During the struggles of a teenager, to the romance of my courtship, to the adventure of the big city life, I have always had music close by for support. 

But some where down the line life gets you. You get so engrossed in the comings and goings of life that you miss out on the smaller pleasures of life. Like reading Heidi and munching on puffed rice. Listening to a song sung by Pankaj Udhas that your parents listened to on their engagement. Playing with your dog till you are both tired to the bone and panting with your tongues out. You get the drift don't you? 

Today I rediscovered music again. And am so much happier for it. 

9 March 2015.

A long way from my first blog post in 2007 (which has since been archived). I am now 7 years older, atleast 25 kilograms heavier and much much wiser. 

I was about to type the word "happier" as well. But then I realized, I probably couldn't tell you if I was more happier during one particular period of time than another. Yes, I do know when I was sad and when I was happy, but I couldn't tell you when I was more of one than at any other time. 

My life, rather the world has changed since then. There is one new sovereign state in this world (South Sudan - 9 July 2011 - unless you want to count Nepal too). India now has a new Government. I now have a husband and a home of my own, complete with a car and a dog. The proverbial happy family that you see in the TVCs.

But there is always more than meets the eye. Always.